Cold Shower

Where to start this blog? Wow, what a day it has been! Our flight to Rome was to depart at 0930 this morning so we headed to the bus stop to catch the 0630 bus to the airport. Got there in plenty of time, checked in, got through security, everything was fine. There were 3 flights ahead of us and one was just departing, as Ryanair’s motto goes, we’re on time 90% of the time. Well, today we found out just exactly how they stack that number. Around 9 o’clock an announcement is made in French and reading facial expressions it was not good, jaws were wide open, people started moving, chatter got louder…something was up. Turns out, one of the flights ahead of us gets relocated to a different airport 2 hours away due to fog rolling in. They told the passengers to head to the baggage claim to pick up their bags and board a bus that would shuttle them to the other airport. Shortly after, the flight before us has an annoucement and the same reaction follows…only this time, the flight has been canceled all together. Minutes later, our flight was called out and we were herded to baggage claim, got our bags and waited in line to rebook our flight. Ontime 90% of the time eh? I guess if the flight never takes off they can't count it as being late can they? While we were waiting there, we got a taste of what people have always said about the French and their rudeness. This line we were in was no joke, a block long and after standing in it for a little while, faces start to become familiar…until random women and their husbands show up on the side and begin to weasle their way in, sneaky like. There were two other US citizens in line in front of us and I’m not sure if it was just us being push overs but not one of us said anything. Shortly (hahaha no pun inteneded, you’ll understand why I say that in a second) after, two men show up to our left and I can see that they are heading to Dublin. I swear, as the Lucky Charm’s mascot as my witness, these two men were either Keebler Elves or Lepruchans. Honest truth. So after waiting in line for two hours, we finally get to the front where we are promtly told that the next flight out, at 920pm, was completely booked with 5 people already on a waiting list but the flight tomorrow morning was open. Luckily for us, one of the fellow Americans (Kerry) had an inside tip from his sister whom he had called from his cell phone and already had booked a flight out from a different airport on a different airline…trick is, she did it online and we didn’t have internet. However, he offered us his cell phone to make any calls we needed. Enter Super-Momica (a.k.a. Mrs Heitman). Jody called her mother and by the time we were on the bus heading back into Paris, she had booked the same flight as Kerry, all we needed to do was get to Airport Chetau de La Guallis. I’m pretty sure I owe her dinner, or a new car…maybe both.

Once we got there, we were slightly confused at how it was set up. This airport was no joke, the shape of a UFO. We entered and literally went in circles trying to find the airline’s desk…no luck on the first floor so we moved to the next and proceeded to go in another circle around the entire airport…finally we found the desk but were unable to check in as they didn’t allow check in more than 2 hours prior…so we headed out to find food. Once we ate and were finally able to check in, we started to make more people observations which I’m sure most of you are sick of by this point but I’ll do my best to be quick. First and foremost, we’re pretty sure that everyone here does everything possible to secretly draw attention to themselves. Today, we concluded that for guys, the best possible hair to have is bed-head. Wake up, head into the bathroom, open up a new can of hairspray and just go to town. They wear obnoxious necklaces with giant beads, fir jackets that Pamela Anderson would hardly fill, scarfs that could be considered jackets and sunglasses that cover not only the eyes, eyelashes and nose, but the cheeks, jawbone, chin and sometimes an entire ear…ok, tangent done.

The three of us, Kerry, Jody and I, were given seats next to one another on the flight like a big happy family. It worked out great for the seating too, Kerry likes the window seat (which was mine so I let him take it), I like the aisle seat and Jody, well, Jody really likes being in the middle squished so we made sure she was accomidated. While we waited for the plane to start moving, we all made a humorous observation (well to us anyway); there was a woman quite a few rows ahead of us who reached up above her to open the air vent in hopes of cooling off in the plane that was steadily getting hotter. Most of you are of high intelligence (for some that’s a little too much credit, but roll with me here ok?) and realize that when you are sitting in your car at home and it’s not turned on that by turning the fan on, absolutely nothing happens right? In order for anything to work in a car when it comes to electronics, the car must be turned on correct? Well, that knowledge doesn’t seem to be registering with this woman. She reached up, twisted the knob back and forth three or four times trying to get air…if that wasn’t enough, she started to pull and on the knob thinking there must be some sort of trigger, button or switch that she had to find. No such luck. This went on for probably two or three minutes. When she finally finished and after we had a good laugh about it, another arm went up in a new row, trying to do the same thing, get air. Again, a few minutes of unsuccessful attemps and the arm went down. Shortly thereafter, five arms went up in the rows behind the first two arms, all trying the exact same thing…it was like syncronized coreography with no end result. Finally the engines on the plane were started and low and behold, AIR!

I remember back in middle school learning about Europe and the middle ages, dark ages, and on to more modern times…what I was taught back then was that Europeans were shower and bath shy for a very long time, it wasn’t until recently, late 1800’s and early 1900’s that bathing more than once a week (if that) was starting to go out of style and cleaning oneself at least once a day became more common practice. This is what I was taught in school. Fastforwarding to present day, on a flight from Paris to Rome, and on multiple other occasions, I have found that a person’s ‘natural scent’ is more appealing than any other smell. When we found our seats, honestly it smelled like a combination of a gym locker room and molding swiss cheese. I’m not exactly sure if Kerry and Jody passed out on this flight from sheer exhaustion or simply because the odor was so similar to knock out gas used by SWAT in the States. Who knows, bottom line; it was aweful.
Hopped on a train from the airport into Rome with Kerry and ran into two other backpacking travelers who were doing something that both Jody and I hope to do the next time we’re in Europe and that’s spending more time off the beaten trail and staying in hostels rather than hotels. After a long day of buses, taxis, and flying we finally got to the Termini which was only 2 miles from the Bed & Breakfast we were staying at. Turned Tom on, plugged in the address, said goodbye to Kerry and headed on our way. We made our way through some rather sketchy areas and finally came to where Tom said was our destination…we ran the bell as was instructed on our confirmation email of an apartment type building but no one answered so we headed a block up to a café and got something to eat. A man recommended to us what we should eat and we took his advice. I am not sure exactly what we ordered but when it came out, it was the most amazing dish we have had yet. It was simple but completely satisfying. It had a type of meat that had an incredible flavor, a special type of onion that is only found in Italy that was out of this world and last but not least the cheese! Wow, oh the delicious CHEESE!!!

Sadly we opted out of showering this morning because we figured we’d be in Rome and could there…oh how we were wrong…and now that we’re here, the water is FREEZING (I let Jody go first, being the modest gentleman that I am. Little does she know I hoped it’d warm up by the time she was done) so I taught Jody how I’ve done combat showers (no, not in the shower at the same time, I described it). Basically when you either have very little water, very very HOT desert water, or in our case tonight, FREEZING COLD water, here’s what I’ve taught Jody to do…much to her dismay; Turn it on, jump in, get wet. Turn it off, lather up. Turn it on, rise off. Get in, get out. Simple. (Not simple, and not fun. I’m hoping for warm water tomorrow morning - Jody). Jody seems to be having a problem with this shower…I just took one and it was soooo WARM…I came out of the bathroom and told her…completely skeptical, she just laid in bed thinking I was lying…I finally convinced her that I did, she got up, saw the mirror was foggy and gave me a Jody look of disbelief and bitter anger towards me. She vowed to take one tonight, got back in but only moments later, came back out complaining that the water wouldn’t get hot. I guess Italy’s showers don’t like her. Sad story eh?